Is your ex stalking you?.. Maybe Not… Their reason might surprise you…Author: +Freddie Cook
There are a few possible reasons why your ex keeps contacting you, some good and some bad, but to really understand exactly what’s going on let us think a little bit about relationships and breakups it will help you decide exactly what they’re motives really are… (see this post breakup psychology.)
So first… breakups don’t always happen for bad reasons. They’re not always hurtful or devastating either. In fact, some relationships breakup in a quiet and peaceful way.
It can even be quite unremarkable… a non event.
Sometimes the romantic side of a relationship simply runs it’s course. But, just because the romance has gone, it doesn’t mean that the connection and feelings for each other have disappeared as well… or that you can’t rekindle the love and passion and build your relationship up again…
The romantic love may have gone, but the caring love may have endured.
This leaves two people who care deeply for each other, but not in any sexual or romantic way.
In this case, it’s normally a joint decision to breakup, but they remain great friends, often for life.
However, as much as you might like this to happen, the truth is . . . it rarely does.
Most relationships breakup with one partner not ready for it and not wanting it to happen.
. . . Are you repelling your ex? Take this quiz and find out . . .
Besides, we doubt if your breakup was amicable, because if it was, you’d be quite happy with it and you wouldn’t be asking. . .
So how does this affect you?
Well, when someone takes the decision to breakup with you for good, they usually try to keep things very business-like. They are curt, to the point, and break off all contact with you.
On the other hand, someone who’s looking to soften the blow, probably still has deep-seated feelings and an emotional attachment toward you.
They’re treating you with kid gloves because they don’t want to hurt you, but also because it leaves the door open for a possible reconciliation.
Even though they’re dumping you, it’s always nice for them to know they can get you back if, and when, they want to… But, it’s also true even if you dumped them.
They think that staying in constant contact with you can achieve this.
They may then remain distant and evasive although still in contact with you, and they might insist they’re only staying in touch as friends.They may keep in contact with you in person, by ‘phone, text messages, instant messaging or Facebook and the like. In this day and age it’s all too easy to do.
The truth of the matter though, is that your ex still hasn’t let go of your relationship. They might not be ready to start it back up, but they’re not yet ready to cut off all connection with you.
They are keeping you at arms length, but close by none the less… just in case.
When someone truly wants the relationship to end, they normally break off all contact. They do this because any attempts at contact could be misunderstood and taken as a sign of interest, an ex who’s totally finished with the relationship will avoid you like the plague.
This isn’t because they’re trying to hurt you or be mean (in most cases), it’s because they’re trying to protect your feelings and also avoid any future scenes or arguments.
Keeping in touch with you would only encourage you to believe they missed you and that they’re testing the waters for a possible reconciliation.
The longer you believe this, the longer (and harder) it will be for you to move on. If you really think this is possible, then ask them straight out if they are trying to patch things up. You’ll then know exactly where you stand.
If your ex keeps contacting you it could also be because they’re finding it hard to accept that you really have moved on without them. That’s unbelievable to them, how could you possibly get over them so quickly?
But, if you show that moving on from them is really difficult for you, it boosts their confidence. In other words, you’re fueling their ego.
Some people thrive on this.
Some people also take immense pleasure trying to keep hurting their ex, keeping in contact is one of the methods they use. They have you constantly thinking about them and guessing if the breakup can be fixed or not.
So how can you tell the difference?
Well… that turns out to be fairly simple.
When someone is interested in you they’ll give off lots of signals, In this article I’ve put together you’ll find 24 of these signals 24 signs your ex wants you back.
The point is, if your ex is contacting you because they really desire you and want to get you back into a meaningful relationship, then they’ll be giving off body language signals as well.
Whereas someone who is just trying to torment you will be giving off very few, if any, of these other signals.
We hope this has helped answer your question, “why does my ex keep contacting me?” But getting your ex back in your arms again is not about what your ex does… it’s about what you do… This post Getting Your Ex Back Using Psychological Triggers will help you…
. . . Your Ex Back Plan . . .