Divorce Need Not Be Forever
Of course, not all marriages can be saved, but the real tragedy is that most breakups can be prevented. You do not have to be a statistic.
You can be proactive and do something about it. You can save your marriage, it won’t be easy, but it is possible to avoid a long term relationship breakup. You just have to follow the steps to rebuild what has been broken.
Breakups Start With Arguing
1) The first step is to just stop arguing. Every time your partner says something that you want to get grumpy with or correct, just learn to let it go. By doing this you’re doing everyone a favor.
When one partner in a couple can learn to let things start rolling off their back, the other one will usually follow suit, perhaps not immediately, but once there is confidence that conflict can be avoided it becomes almost automatic.
Scoring points will not help you save your marriage, you are probably going to have to be the one to learn to let things go first. You never know, your partner might be working on the same skills at the same time.
But no matter how badly both people want to save the marriage, it’s usually only one person that is working on trying to keep the peace.
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Most arguments are about trivial, or inconsequential, things. This is because they are afraid of arguing over the real, and bigger, issues so the safer way is just to pick on small things to fight about.
Most couples have this problem at some time or other, but sometimes it gets out of hand and before you know it, divorce is being threatened. So learn to let it go if you want to save your marriage, remember… what’s more important, always being right about everything, or making sure your partner does not make a mistake?
The Real Reason For Your Divorce
2) Now it’s time to look at what you weren’t arguing about, those bigger issues. You have to find the real problems in your relationship, you can’t stop your divorce if you don’t know why your marriage is falling apart.
You need to work with your spouse to diagnose what is wrong with the marriage. This is a little harder than it sounds, because what you think might be the reason for your problems is likely to be just a symptom.
Like arguing over the trivial things, it’s all too easy to make arguing the reason, but as we’ve seen, it’s just a sign that there is a deeper problem that needs to be dealt with. This is what needs to be identified now.
Reverse Your Divorce By Being Fair
3) Once identified, the real problem has to be dealt with in a satisfactory way for both partners. In many ways, this is the most important step. If you can’t fix the problem, then you can’t stop your divorce. Naturally, some problems can’t be fixed, but most can.
The reason most marriage ending problems don’t get solved is that they are never identified. But you’ve already done that in the previous step. What you need to do now is work with your spouse to make the compromises that will deal with this problem and stop your divorce.
A Marriage Needs Some Romance
4) Listen carefully to this one, start dating again. Romance, feeling desired and feeling needed is essential in a loving relationship, so even if you’re not actually dating and going out together, you have to approach your relationship as if it’s new and you’ve just started dating.
This isn’t always easy, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, but it’s necessary. Start showing each other the attention you both deserve.
We all have a different perspective on our partners when the relationship is new. Everything is fresh and exciting. After a while that freshness wears off and we start to get bored.
Some call it routine and familiarity, but most people call it boring and predictable. This is so true when you’ve reached the stage of arguing and bickering over the slightest thing.
If you really want to help save your marriage, then make sure it isn’t as boring and predictable as it has been.
Surprise your partner with a special date night (and make sure you can reschedule, just in case they can’t go), and encourage them to surprise you as well.
Remember The Good Times In Your Marriage
5) It’s important to have quiet time together and this is perfect for reminiscing. Remembering the good times is fun, it’s intimate and it’s a great way to remind both your spouse and yourself why you got together in the first place.
No matter how bad your marriage has become, there was a point when things were good. You should try to get back to that place, but you should always keep in mind that it did exist and that you both enjoyed it.
Express Your Love For Each Other
6) Love is all things to all men, but expressing your love can often be different. Try to love your partner in the way they want to be loved. We all have things that make us happiest. Some like to be told that they’re loved constantly.
Others find small gestures like a hug or holding hands to be the greatest things ever. Others might think that doing, even small, things for them is a supreme act of love, while others just want to be told “I love you” so they can feel cherished.
The point is, we are all different and we need to be reassured in different ways too. Your hours of loving your partner will be twice as effective if you do the things that you know make them happy.
A Happy Marriage Needs Affection
7) Be physically and emotionally affectionate. Love and marriage aren’t all about sex, but it’s still important.
If you take the same attitude that you did in the beginning, you won’t go far wrong. Stopping your divorce and saving your relationship and marriage may take a little effort, but it doesn’t have to be hard work.
None of these 7 ways to stop your divorce are impossible to succeed at, and coupled with a little imagination and a real willingness to save your marriage and you’ll be off to a flying start…