Do You Need Help To Save Your Marriage?
Can you see your marriage falling apart and the shadow of divorce looming large?
If you are looking for help to save your marriage, rekindle the love and passion, then this article should help you a lot.
You see, everything probably looks complicated and confusing to you at the moment, and you don’t know which way to turn or what to do for the best.
This is natural and happens to most people when a breakup is either on the horizon or has already recently happened. To be able to stand back and look on your troubled relationship as an outsider would, is not an easy thing to do, but would be very helpful if you could.
Getting things clear in your head is one of the big stumbling blocks preventing you from getting your ex back or fixing your relationship before it gets to that stage.
Your emotions are another big stumbling block that are getting in the way of your attempts to rescue your relationship, because emotions, when they are running high, prevent you from thinking in a clear and logical fashion.
Therefore, before you can be effective and find a solution to your problems, you have two things to concentrate on. Both of them will help you to recover from the panic and helpless feelings that you are suffering from at this moment. Anxiety has a bad habit of running you down and making you confused and perhaps even depressed.
So, when you need help to save your marriage, or any relationship for that matter, first of all, you will have to deal with your feelings and get them under control.
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Once you manage this you will find that everything with look a little clearer. The problems will become more obvious. Remember that what you think is a problem may just be a red herring, a symptom of the problem rather than the problem itself.
The second thing is to clear your head of all the things that are complicating your situation. Most of these are just getting in the way and are no longer relevant.
If you have reached the stage of even considering divorce, or maybe your partner has either suggested it or even threatened it, then things like ‘who was to blame’ no longer makes any difference.
You have gone beyond that, who was to blame no longer matters, it is more important that you identify the problems that got you to this point than whose fault is was.
Simplifying everything that you can will help you to see that all the things that were overwhelming you and your thoughts can be reduced to a few explicit problems, maybe even just one problem.
It’s a bit like giving your home a spring clean, once you’ve cleared out all the clutter that you’ve accumulated since last year, you can see your home in all it’s beauty again. Your mind can be just like that, problems, usually little day to day things, that go unresolved just end up cluttering your mind.
When you continually push these to the back of your mind, it’s a bit like stuffing things into a cupboard day after day. Sooner or later, the door is going to open and everything is going to fall out.
Communication is key to any relationship, not just when you are trying to rescue one, but all the time. The best and most stable relationships are those ones where the couple communicate effectively. Not all communication is effective, a lot of the time people say things to cover up what they really want to say.
This is ineffective communication. Being truthful is always the best policy, even when you’re trying to spare someones feelings, or just trying to keep the peace. Honesty does mean that diplomacy can’t be used as well.
If ever there was a time for honesty, it would have to be now. If your relationship is floundering to the extent that you are seeking help to save your marriage, then this is the time for you and your spouse to get real, and have an honest heart to heart talk.
At this stage in your relationship, you have little to lose by speaking the truth, and everything to gain.
Bottling things up in stressful situations is a tendency that many people share. It’s difficult to get out of this way of dealing with problems that seem to be too big to handle. The natural way of dealing with these problems is often to just ignore them and hope that they will resolve themselves or just just simply go away.
This is seldom what happens in real life though. Unresolved problems merely build up to an accumulation of problems that actually create worse ones that then go on to mask the underlying faults.
Open up to your husband or wife, take the risk. It may be all that it takes to bring both of you closer together again. Tell your spouse all your fears and hopes and desires. Let them know that you are floundering and need their help to put things back together again, and strengthen your marriage in the process.
Remember, when you simplify things, you are making them much easier to deal with. Your problems will no longer seem so large that you can do nothing about them. Finding out what the real problems are behind your marriage breakup is paramount, and sometimes you will not be able to identify them all by yourself.
Maybe not even by both of you. It is often the case that you are just too involved to be able to do this properly, a bit like not being able to see the wood for the trees.
Do you need help to save your marriage? Don’t be afraid of asking for help. This post, I hope, has given you some things to think about. But, don’t let it stop there. There are very good resources that can help you through this difficult time.
Relationship counseling is one of them. Not everyone relishes the thought of going to see some stranger in order to air their dirty laundry, but when your marriage is at stake, accepting help from a professional and discreet source is likely to be your best option, especially if you can convince your spouse to go with you. Also, sometimes a stranger to talk to is exactly what you need.
It can be easier to tell a stranger something than it is to tell your spouse. Bear in mind that relationship counseling is completely confidential. These are professional, highly trained people that have only your best interests at heart.
They know exactly how to help both of you because they have done it all before. Your relationship might seem unique to you, but there are traits that all relationships have, and it is very seldom indeed for a relationship problem to be new one to them.
You need someone to help you save your marriage or you would not be reading this post. In that case, wouldn’t you be better off having a face to face meeting with a professional counselor, someone that can simplify your problems and help you get rid of the confusion in your mind?
To end on a cheerful note, most relationship problems can be resolved when handled in the right way. Even marriages that have gone through a breakup, and even divorce, can be rescued and the couple brought back together again. Don’t give up on your marriage or your spouse, take the appropriate action and you stand a good chance of success to help save your marriage and get your partner back…