Cheating Husband – What’s His Problem?

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Why Did My Husband Cheat On Me?

cheating husband

Infidelity is so hard to come to terms with on a lot of levels. It’s not just that sinking feeling you get when you first find out you have a cheating husband, or the heartache that quickly follows. It’s all the other emotions that seem to keep changing all the time, coupled with all the questions that constantly race about in your head.

What does the future hold now?
Should I leave him and get a divorce?
Am I not good enough for him?
What have I done wrong…

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They’re endless, each new day brings a fresh load of questions to add to the old ones, questions that haven’t even been answered yet.

You go from feeling almost normal to a panic situation when his affair suddenly hits you all over again. Then you get angry. Then you feel depressed, and so it goes on…

…Why did he do this to us?

If your husband has cheated on you (even if he says “nothing happened) then it’s quite natural for you to want to know why? In fact, it’s probably uppermost in your mind. Lets face it, he’s put your relationship (and possibly family if you have kids) under threat. Why would he be prepared to take such a chance..?


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The pain, distrust, loss of respect and turning your whole world upside down. Of course you want to know… why?

It’s also natural for your thinking to be hazy and unclear, and your emotions to be all over the place. Confusion is one of the hardest things to overcome following the discovery of an infidelity.

In order to get to the root of the problem you will need to get your emotions under control first, and you will need a clear head.

As much as you want to know the reason why your husband was willing to treat you this way, not every cheating husband is willing to let you know the truth, or all the facts.

This can be very frustrating and as hurtful as the affair itself. And, just to make matters even worse, getting him to talk about his feelings, actions and reasons for his adultery very often leads to arguments and fights.

It would certainly be easier if every cheating husband had the same problem, but they don’t. Their reasons for having an affair are varied and numerous.

  • Among their reasons for infidelity are:
  • Looking for affection or attention.
  • Wanting to feel appreciated.
  • Trying to fulfill needs that are not being met at home.
  • Seeking to recapture their youth and the youthful excitement that went with it.
  • Searching for a new mate (for whatever reason, they’ve already decided to breakup.)
  • Looking for a distraction (perhaps to relieve pressures at work or at home.)
  • Having an ego trip (cheating simply because they can.)

There are, of course, countless other possibilities and it’s important to realize that not every affair begins for any important reason at all. It is a fact that some affairs simply happen without any real underlying cause. Perhaps just circumstances, attraction or availability (when their guard is down) is all that’s required.

In any case, for your peace of mind, here are some things you can try in order to make sense of your cheating husband and uncover his particular problems. Just bear in mind as you read on, I’m not trying to suggest that you’ve caused him to have an affair. It is not your fault that he chose to deal with his problems in that manner.

Try Walking In His Shoes
If you want to figure out why your cheating husband does not love you anymore, you need to understand what he is thinking. Try to see your actions through his point of view. By walking in his shoes you may be able to better understand why he has had, or is still having, an affair.

Try Understanding your Own Problems
If you want to fix your relationship you need to be self-reflective. You need to think about your own issues and how they may have caused unhappiness in your partner.

If you can understand what you may be doing wrong, you can work to quickly fix the problems of your relationship. Although, his cheating (that is, his reason for cheating), may not have anything to do with you at all.

Try Discussing HIS Issues With Him
It is a really important step, effective communication is imperative.

More often than not he will be willing to discuss why he is unhappy, and what has caused him to have this change of heart. But, as I said above, this is not always the case, you really do have to find a way round this.

The only way to get the facts is to make sure that you talk to the source, making this the most important tool for those who want to fix their relationship.

It’s difficult to fix something if you don’t know exactly what is wrong. Tell him that. The truth is the only thing that can be dealt with. Dealing with a lie is futile.

Try Discussing YOUR Issues With Him
You also need to get your issues out in the open, and I don’t necessarily mean your issues about his cheating. If you had any concerns prior to his adulterous affair, then now is the time to air them.

If you want to have a good relationship with your husband YOU need to be honest as well, and for the same reasons.

After you have listened to him talk about his issues, talk about your own. He may realize that some of his own actions have caused the issues in your relationship, opening his eyes and giving him reason to understand why he cheated, and maybe even encourage him to fall in love with you again.

Try Seeing a Marriage Counselor
If neither of you can understand the issues in your marriage you may want to consider a marriage counselor. A marriage counselor is an unbiased third party that may be able to outline your issues and help your husband to fully realize what he has put in jeopardy and also help you forgive and regain trust again.

<h3>Dealing With A Cheating Husband</h3>

It is important for you to look at all of the different angles of your relationship. This will help you to truly identify the various issues that have come between you both. These issues may be why your husband does not love you like he used to.

Rebuilding all the love and passion you used to have for each other is a powerful way to recapture his heart and strengthen the bond that holds you together as a couple. . .


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