What’s The Reason For Cheating?
The first thing to understand when you’re trying to save your relationship after cheating, is that adultery never just happens. There is always a reason behind it.
So the simple answer for how to survive the infidelity and save your relationship after all this cheating depends on finding out what caused it. . . And then finding a solution for it.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? . . . But it’s not.
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If you’re the one being cheated on, then the cause you uncover will decide whether or not you can fix it.
If you’re the cheater then the cause will decide whether or not you want to find a solution to your problem.
If you take the stance of being the cheater, then some possible causes are:
- You are no longer in love with your partner and looking for a way out.
- You’re insecure and need reassurance of some kind, an ego thing.
- You are not getting what you want, or need, from your relationship. This could be sexual, emotional, spiritual or psychological.
- You’re feeling the effects of frustration about your life in general. Could even be work related and nothing at all to do with your relationship.
- You are getting back at your partner for something, otherwise known as revenge.
- Perhaps You feel your partner is controlling you at some level and cheating gives you back some of your lost control.
- You could even be unsure of how committed you are to your partner and testing the waters to find out.
There are, of course, many more possibilities. But regardless of the reason, as the cheater you have to be aware that cheating and adultery will always hurt your present partner, possibly even scar them emotionally for life. . . and YOU won’t escape unscathed either.
There is always a better way of handling your problem other than having a fling.
If you’re the one being cheated on, then can you be objective enough to find out the reason, discuss it with your partner to find a solution, and. . . are you prepared to forgive?
Whatever your situation is, it will take both of you wanting to save your relationship for it to work into the future.
One of the biggest things you will need to do to save your relationship after an affair is for both of you to be brutally honest with each other. You need to get to why the affair happened, and the part that each of you played.
It’s very rare indeed to break down the cause where the fault lies with just one of you. Most often, as a couple, you share responsibility to some degree.
Who’s To Blame?
Blame for ruining your relationship is always shared by both of you, not always equally, but there are reasons your relationship fell apart to the point where one of you thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.
Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve your problems. . . If you and your partner can communicate effectively.
This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations.
If you can communicate in a mature and adult fashion about your problems, and what you can do to fix them, you will be in a good position to save your relationship and most likely make it stronger in the process.
A good heart-to-heart can bring you both closer together.
Save Your Relationship After Cheating
The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved. If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on.
They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they will never change.
If, on the other hand, someone gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship and overcome this affair that has come between you both.