The Relationship Psychology Glue
Author: +Freddie Cook
The psychology behind every relationship is what keeps it together, or breaks it apart. You might think that it’s feelings, but it’s not.
Relationships start off full of promise, attraction, excitement, attachment, desire, love and, of course, the couple giving each other their full attention.
But this doesn’t last forever, no matter how much we want it to, this honeymoon phase comes to an end eventually.
After a certain amount of time, every relationship begins to settle down quite naturally. This happens as the initial, mainly hormone based, excitement gives way to a more significant, feelings based, relationship.
This is all normal and natural, but one of the side effects is that you’ll both start taking each other for granted – also quite normal.
It’s not a big issue at this stage, and at this beginning stage it is good because it shows a level of trust has been built which is essential in any relationship.
You start to rely on each other and expect them to almost be able to read your mind. Things go unsaid because they are expected to just… know.
What can become a problem though, is the way you might start responding to each other.
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Using Psychology To Fix Your Breakup
I think we can all agree that men and women think differently and respond differently.
At the start of a relationship these differences don’t matter because you’ll both be paying so much attention to each other that your differences balance out.
But after this initial stage, the psychology behind your relationship will start to become more significant.
Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that could potentially be driving the other partner away… and re-enforcing the good ones.
The unfortunate part about most couples is that they often believe the other person will think the same way as they do.
In truth, men and women have very different ways of communicating those things they need or want.
No relationship is perfect, but it is possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you.
After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one, or both, partners from feeling less than equal or just becoming disillusioned with the union.
If you’ve already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology to fix your breakup can also help you fix your relationship and get your ex back using psychological triggers in devastatingly clever ways.
Advice for Women
Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words.
This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by talking about the issues, or arguing about bad behavior, is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.
Instead of talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions.
They want to know that they are capable of making you happy.
A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will begin to think there’s nothing he can do to make you happy, so he’ll withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.
However, if he’s faced with a happy, confident partner who is a pleasure to spend time with, he’s less likely to withdraw.
In fact, he’ll likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will often find themselves doing whatever they can to make sure you stay as happy as you were on those occasions.
If you find it difficult to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy.
When you feel good within yourself, you’re more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly as well.
If you’re trying to get another chance with your ex boyfriend read this post…
Advice for Men
Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do.
Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she’s saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.
Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses.
If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will begin to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and enjoyable to spend time with.
These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you can do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they’ll also work equally well if you’re trying to get another chance with your ex girlfriend…
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