Relationships and what causes them to breakup
Having said that, for the purpose of understanding breakups, we don’t need a complete list of every possible reason or cause that can contribute to relationships breaking up.
The truth is that we can categorize most relationship breakups into a much smaller list.
When we do this, we can see the reasons for the breakup far more clearly, and consequently, fixing a relationship breakup should become that much easier and clearer too.
It’s also rare for a relationship breakup to occur for just one single reason, there are usually a few reasons that compound together to finally breakup a relationship, and sometimes there are a whole host of different reasons that bring about the split.
For example, falling out of love is an often used reason to breakup, but diminishing love is usually just a symptom. There are other factors that are causing the love to drain from the relationship.
If a couple is growing apart, then there is something contributing to this, it’s not the growing apart that is the problem, but whatever is causing it to happen.
So lets have a look at some of the causes of relationship breakups instead of the symptoms that most people blame.
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Relationships and trust
Trust is one of the biggest reasons why relationships end. It becomes a large category that covers everything from actual infidelity to imagined infidelity, but trust is not confined to adultery.
Being able to trust your spouse or partner to back you up when you need it.
Trusting that whatever is said is actually the truth.
Being able to rely on a promise made is also trust, in fact, not just promises, reliability of any kind is a form of trust.
Can you be completely relied on by your partner, and can you rely on your partner just as much?
A lack of trust destroys relationships, and sadly, the lack of trust is not always justified. If either one of the couple has low self-esteem or a lack of confidence in themselves, then this can lead to distrust of their partner.
In this instance, the real reason causing the distrust needs to be addressed, but usually trust is lost in a relationship because of a lack of honesty or an inability to communicate effectively.
Relationships and communication
Which brings us to another major reason for relationship breakups, communication.
More specifically, a lack of effective communication.
This does not mean that you don’t chat a lot, or even discuss things. It simply means that what is being said is not really getting to the bottom of the issues that matter the most.
For instance, when one of the couple in a relationship accuses the other of not understanding them, then exactly who’s fault is this lack of understanding?
Not getting your needs met? Again, who’s fault is that?
Does your partner know what your needs are or how important any particular need is?
Likes are just as important to communicate to your partner as dislikes are. Your hopes and dreams for the future, your regrets from the past, it’s important to communicate all that matters to each person in a relationship.
If this doesn’t happen than resentment is very often the result.
Relationships and abuse
Abuse is the next biggest killer of relationships, actually, when abuse exists in a relationship then it ceases to be a relationship simply because abuse is present.
But, what exactly constitutes abuse in a relationship?
The obvious one is physical abuse, but there are other forms of abuse that have no place in any relationship.
Emotional abuse is every bit as common as physical abuse, so also is mental abuse.
Emotional abuse is best summed up as guilt. Making someone feel guilty, especially emotional blackmail. This is actually one of the methods that control freaks use and is a particularly nasty form of abuse in a relationship.
Mental abuse can be best summed as a form of bullying, but it goes deeper than that and at it’s worst can rob all the self confidence from the person being abused, it’s another one of a control freaks methods of completely controlling someone.
The bottom line to any relationship breakup advice when abuse is involved, is get out, and stay out.
There is no compromise, abuse has no place in a relationship.
Relationships are about nurturing each other and helping each other to grow, it is not trying to diminish them in any way or to hold them back, and it’s definitely not controlling them.
These are the major three reasons that cause relationships to breakup, they not appear to be the reasons at first glance, but when you really dig into all that has happened and try and get to the fundamental problems, then you’ll find that most can fall into at least one of these categories. And this is how to fix it. . .