Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back

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Why Is Writing A Letter So Effective?

couples0002When you’re trying to get your ex back, one of the best ways to heal a relationship is to write a letter. That’s because if you try a face-to-face conversational approach, it’s all too easy to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way and then you’re left trying to recover from another mistake.

Or, more likely, not say everything you want to say, or let it degrade into a row or even a fight. With a letter, there is no-one to argue with and they are more likely to read it all uninterrupted.

Writing letters to get your ex back gives you the chance of getting it right before your ex gets to see it. You have the time to go over what you’ve written as many times as you like. This allows you to phrase things just the way you want and it also helps make sure that you get to say everything you want to say, you won’t forget something important that you’d be kicking yourself afterwards for missing out.

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Verbal exchanges make it far too easy to say the wrong thing, the wrong way, or to simply not say what you really intended to, or to be interrupted before you finish saying all that you want to say. So a letter is an ideal way of initiating a reconciliation.

But when it comes to writing getting back together letters and trying to reverse a breakup there are a few things to keep in mind.

When you first sit down to compose your letter, don’t worry about grammar, spelling or punctuation. Just let the feelings flow. You can always go back and make corrections of the technical kind later, at this point it’s all about letting your feelings out.

You may want to write more than one letter to your ex (though it’s important that you don’t overdo it, there is a danger that it becomes more like stalking than talking). There are things that you should say in your letter and things you shouldn’t say so make sure you carefully read over the following tips so that you don’t inadvertently scare your ex away forever by writing the wrong thing:


  1. Tell them honestly that you understand why they felt the need to end the relationship, or why you ended it if that is the case. Don’t blame or point fingers. Keep the tone honest and sincere, not angry and defensive.
  2. Let them know that even though you understand why it’s over that you still miss them and you wish things could have been different.
  3. Keep the letter fairly short, don’t meander all over the place. Let them know what you’re feeling and let it go at that.
  4. Understand that sometimes you just can’t get back with your ex no matter how badly you want to or how hard you try. If that is the case you have to be willing to walk away gracefully.


  1. Seem whiny, angry or pushy in your letter. It’s not going to do you any good if you come across as pathetic or aggressive, that is not the point of writing the letter. Keep your cool and don’t even think about writing a letter until you have some control over your emotions.
  2. Try to convince your ex that the two of you should get back together. Yes, that is your ultimate goal, but by coming on too strong you are likely to just push them further away. Instead set a cordial tone and let them see that you are a mature and in-control grown up who is trying to express yourself honestly. In many cases that will be all it takes for your ex to be willing to start a dialog with you.

It comes down to trust… If your ex can trust you not to make them uncomfortable or to end up arguing all over again, then you stand a much better chance of being able to get them to talk with you, or even meet face-to-face with you.

Getting back together letters can really help start the process of getting two people back together. Of course there is no guarantee, but in many cases it does work perfectly. The good news is that even if you don’t get back with your ex, getting in touch with your feelings and writing it all out can help you find some healing no matter how things end up, and that is always a good step forward.

It’s also important to realize that writing letters is just the first step to getting your ex back . What happens after that is just as important… you need an actionable plan to succeed…

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. . . You'll find that here when you are. . .

Getting back with your ex doesn't have to be difficult!